The Invisible Men Project

If there’s only one thing you’re going to read today, please make it this one:  http://the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/

Today, more than ever, it is important to discuss male violence against children, women and other men. While attempts to end this violence have largely focused on the victims, it is now time to look at the perpetrators.

The Invisible Men Project, in their own words, ‘will show you the words used by punters to review their experiences with women in prostitution.’

Please read this and share it.

Everybody needs to know.

24

It’s a long shot,
It’s a short story,
It’s a small gamble
With a big price to pay.

I’ve been bought
Over by your theory,
That time will make
  This distance fade away.

But the clock is ticking louder
And the seconds pass by,
I’ll do whatever it takes
But is it any use to try?

I just got:
24 days
And 24 nights,
24 ways
To make the stars shine,
24 hours,
24 times,
This is all I have
To make it alright.

You stay awake,
I stay in line,
You never say
What’s on your mind.

I run ahead,
You fall behind,
We promise ourselves
Another last time.

But the day is getting darker
And the sun’s warmth is gone,
I’ll do whatever is asked of me
But how long do I go on?

I just got:
24 days
And 24 nights,
24 ways
To make the words rhyme,
24 hours,
24 times,
This is all I have
To make it alright.

We’re a long shot,
This will be a short story,
If this small gamble
Becomes a big price to pay.

Don’t leave me hanging
By the thin thread of theory,
And when the time comes
I’ll do whatever it takes.

But all I got:
Are 24 days
And 24 nights,
24 ways
To make you smile,
24 hours,
24 times,
This is all I have
To make it alright.

I won’t give in
And you won’t fight
But I’ll never win
If I don’t try
Just 24 days
And I promise, I
Will do whatever it takes
To make you alright,
In these 24 days.

 

MP Cngress Gen. Sec. Says Women Invite Harassment

Madhya Pradesh Congress General Secretary Stayadev Katare says women invite harassment because no man will harass a woman unless she looks at him suggestively.

Surprise, surprise!

Not.

These remarks were made by Katare while addressing a rally in Bhind. However, he offered no comments on the four-year-old child who was sexually assaulted so brutally that she is now fighting for her life in a hospital in Nagpur.

Here he is, speaking suggestively, inviting black polish and shoes to be thrown at him. http://zeenews.india.com/news/madhya-pradesh/madhya-pradesh-congress-leader-blames-women-for-inviting-harassment_844322.html

I, for one, wouldn’t be too sorry if someone did that. After all, he was ‘asking for it’.

Dear White Dude From The First World…

Dear White Dude From The First World,

I see how my ‘sexism’ is oppressing you. No, I really do. I bet they’re killing all the white male fetuses just because they’re male, right? I bet white men are being burned alive every 90 minutes in your country because they couldn’t comply with ever-increasing dowry demands of their in-laws. Also, I was really sad to hear how white men are married off at 13 and 150 of them die every day due to pregnancy-related causes.

So, I’m really sorry that my tweet about most rape apologists (who commented on my post) being male. I’m terribly ashamed that my tweet oppressed you.

Sincerely,
Brown Woman From The Third World.

Open Letter To Gillette

Dear Gillette,

I must admit that your #SoldierForWomen idea is rather cute. It is nice to see that you want women to be safe (and yes, I’d like to believe that you really want it instead of this just being a marketing gimmick). But perhaps you would like to refrain from going back to the old patriarchal idea of men having to protect women.

See, women don’t need men to be soldiers for them. Women only need men to be human and treat them with the same humanity that they expect for themselves.

Women don’t need men to stand up for them, they just want men to stand up with them.

I don’t need a soldier, Gillette, I just need some respect.

Sincerely,
Woman.

Indian Woman: The Precious Wealth in Misery

The 21^st Century has been one of the most significant for India in its long history as a civilization. We have the youngest workforce in the world, the second fastest growing economy and have managed to eradicated polio completely. Yet, a little over 12 years into the 21^st century and India has become home to 1/3^rd of the world’s 142 million child brides.

While most of us would like to imagine that child marriages are either a thing of the distant past or a fantasy confined to the four corners of our television, they are a grim reality facing one of every two Indian women who get married. According to UNICEF 48% of rural girls and 29% of their urban counterparts in India became child brides in 2011.

The UN defines child marriage as a marriage where either one or both participants are under the age of 18. Though child marriage affects boys as well, girl children are affected in a considerably disproportionate amount and the consequences for them are much graver.

As per the NFHS-III survey conducted from November 2005 to August 2006, 47.3% of all women between the ages of 20 to 24 were married by the age of 18. 44.5% of these were married between 16 and 17. 22.6% were married before they were 16; and 2.6% were married off before they even turned 13 years old.

To read the rest of the article in Udaipur Times, please click here.

You

You,
With your big brown eyes,
And that serious frown
Always bearing them down,
You,
You will be the end of me.

Yeah, you,
Acting like you’re alright
When you stay up all night,
With the fear that tomorrow might
Take away everything.

I will never understand the things you do,
You will never say what you’re going through,
And we will draw conclusions in this silence.
But if your blueprint flies out the window
And there’s nowhere safe left to go,
You should know that my door’s always open.

You,
And all your cheesy lines
From a happier time,
Make the stars shine
In the night sky,
You,
What have you done to me?

Yeah you,
You’re just a little too proud
To try your heart out
And try to say it out loud,
And you,
Give me the blues at eighteen.

I will always be caught out of line,
You will always be running out of time,
And we probably won’t get anywhere significant.
But if you ever turn around and find
That’s something’s missing on the inside,
You should know that you can ask for anything.

You,
With your big brown eyes,
And your easy smile
That screams innocence.
You.
Yes, you will be
The end of me.

Samaj Panchayats: The New Khap?

Samaj Panchayats, similar to Khap Panchayats, operate as a parallel (unconstitutional) judicial system in rural Mewar. Anyone who defies their diktats is not only fined exorbitant sums of money but is also ostracize along with their entire family for (perceived) crimes against society, crimes that are judged by a medieval standard.

Women belonging to these communities are not allowed to educate themselves more than their husbands. If they do, they face financial penalties and threats of disfigurement from acid attacks. Unmarried girls are not allowed to use mobile phones so that they do not become “characterless”. Women who wish to leave their abusive husbands are excommunicated. Any court cases filed against the husband’s family results in fines. Women are not allowed custody of their children despite court orders!

The Samaj Panchayats have made it mandatory for 1 kg of gold and 4 kgs of silver to be presented to the groom’s family as dowry even though dowry is an outlawed practice in India and 1 woman is burned alive for it every 90 minutes for it.

The worst of it is that though the authorities know about this, they conveniently turn the other cheek. During every election, the Samaj Panchayat picks a candidate and the entire community votes accordingly. Hence, movements against this oppressive system have never been able to gain any political momentum.

The question remains: how do we end this?

To know more, watch http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jjOasB4yUtI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DjjOasB4yUtI.

License To Rape

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, despite the Justice Verma Committee Report, to join in holy matrimony oppressive patriarchy and the Government of India – which effectively gives patriarchy a license to rape the government.

No, I’m not against the institution of marriage but the government really was “asking for it” (now where have I heard that before?). If the government was not asking to be raped then why would it, with the aid of a parliamentary committee, declare that marital rape is not a criminal offense.

Justifying the panel’s recommendation to keep “marital rape” out of the purview of anti-rape laws, chairman of the standing committee on home affairs M Venkaiah Naidu said that leaving scope for the wife to accuse her husband of rape “has the potential of destroying the institution of marriage”.

                                                                                     – ‘House panel backs move not to treat marital rape as sexual offence’, The Times of India, 2nd March, 2013.

Perhaps Mr. Naidu would like to explain to this naive seventeen year old how maintaining a marriage, if it can still be called that, is more important protecting the basic human right of a woman to not be sexually assaulted? Why is protecting a marriage, which has been reduced to a forced relationship between an abuser and his victim, more important than protecting the victim herself?

Mr. Naidu and the Government of India (or should we say Mrs. Patriarchy?) seem so concerned about safeguarding the rights of the poor little rapist that they wouldn’t even let as much as an accusation from his victim torment him. How sweet. Now, if only wives who face sexual assault within their own homes could get an ounce of this sympathy. Oh, wait. That would ‘destroy’ families.

The government said that criminalising marital rape would weaken traditional family values in India, and that marriage presumes consent

                                                                                           – ‘Marital rape is not a criminal offense: panel’, Mumbai Mirror, 2nd March, 2013

Will somebody please explain to  me what these ‘traditional family values’ are and why do they give men the right to treat their wives like their property? Also, why is keeping the family together exclusively a woman’s responsibility? Aren’t families supposed to be loving and protective of each other instead of abusing one member and threatening her into silence to save their faces in society? Why do Mr. and Mrs. Patriarchy think ‘that marriage presumes consent’? Does a woman stop being a person after she is married? Does she lose her right to say no?

Apparently, she does.

What kind of monster have we, civil society, created in the name of ‘Indian tradition/culture’ where politicians, the police and even the judiciary are able to cite it (as lawyers cite parts of the Constitution in court) to defend marital rape, tell women to stay ‘within their limits’, ask for a ban on skirts for school girls, call rape victims “living corpses” and refuse to as much as register complaints of sexual harassment and sexual assault?

Why are we so blind to the less-than-convenient truth of rampant, systematic violence against women being perpetrated largely by people who are known to the victims? Why do we defend a culture that allows misogyny instead of improving it? Why do we not take Indian tradition/culture back from its so-called defenders who use it merely for the oppression of weaker sections of society? Why do we not divorce our government from systematic, oppressive patriarchy?

Have we too, as citizens of this nation, effectively lost our right to say no?

Rose Red Valentines

Knocked about for a bit
Like a shoe that doesn’t fit,
Its the same old story.
Too stupid to call it quits
With a greed that never did,
Learn to say no to false glory.
Now I’m standing here in the rain
Just trying to explain,
Why I scare you sometimes.
I’m not crazy, baby,
I’m just a little out of my mind.

Never understood what loving meant
Or how lust could be any different,
Until you waltzed in through the door.
This bottle’s been my best friend
For as long as I’ve been on the mend,
Maybe longer but I can’t recall anymore.
Now I’m standing here in the rain
Just trying to explain,
Why I can’t give you them rose red valentines.
I’m not a cynic, baby,
I’m just the weary kind.

That bittersweet first kiss,
That first night of bliss,
I’ve never known any of these.
Too young to put up a fight
Too easy to be pushed aside,
Innocence is a rare commodity.
Now I’m standing here in the rain
Just trying to explain,
Why the little things mean a lot.
You’re not my property, baby,
You’re just my only shot.

Still too stupid to call it quits
That’s all there is to it,
I’m running out of time.
Washed up and wasted
But still trying to make it,
A stranger to the rose red valentines.
Now I’m standing here in the rain
And I’m young on the face,
But dying in the mind.
I’m not heartless, baby,
I’m just the weary kind.